(Taken from "The Pulling Down Of Strongholds")


COLD LIFE OF FAITH


Losing time and losing weight
Losing patience, losing faith
It’s amazing what transpires in a year
As cold hard faith turns into hate
Unseen things are exactly as they appear.

Our fingers writhing in the wrist,
Like serpents slithering in the dust—
From dust we came, and some keep going back.
Some keep going on because they must.
Some of us would settle for some feedback,
Too angry to be an atheist.
.............Smothering black sensations of being somehow surrounded…
.............The ringing in my ears of a trump that never sounded…
.............Blizzards in the dark skies, these cold heavens won’t save me now.

We’ve “never seen the righteous forsaken”;
I’m one due date from living on the street.
“Thou shall not steal,” the Scriptures say...
But if I don’t, God knows, I will not eat.
I count my blessings every day,
And everyday I pray I’m mistaken.
.............A prayer within a prayer, that God will save me somehow…
.............Hoping above all hope there is only so much God allows…
.............Too stubborn just to end it, this cold world won’t stop me now.

Flossing with the tightrope
That is my mortal chord
Overwhelmed and undernourished
Hating myself for the Lord
A cold faith that once had flourished
Gives up the Ghost, and hope.
.............How can I keep Your laws when I can’t even keep the faith?
.............Where is the justice in the loneliness imposed by “true love’s” wait?
.............Questioning my answers, my cold faith can’t save me now.

As faith disintegrates,
My conscience and my slate
Shall be the only things not clear.
As I become all that I hate ,
Unseen things are exactly as they appear...



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